Boy Wonder

Geraldine

2009-10-17T07:32:00.000-04:00

When your sparkle evades your soul

I'll be at your side to console

When your standing on the window ledge

I'll talk you back from the edge

I will turn your tide

Be your shepard and your guide

When your lost in the deep and darkest place around

May my words walk you home safe and sound

When you say that I'm no good and you feel like walking

I need to make sure you know thats just the Prescription talking

When your feet decide to walk you on the wayward side

Up upon the stairs and down the downward slide

I will, I will turn your tide

Do all that I can to heal you inside

I'll be the angel on your shoulder

My name is Geraldine, I'm your social worker

I see you need me

I know you do

arc is the outlet of the insane mind

2009-10-03T01:01:00.004-04:00

....i wonder if this is what love feels like? i wish somebody would write a love for dummies...and let me know that this could be, in fact....love that im feeling.

some days are better than others....but its not like we have a lot of issues anymore.

some days i have my doubts for seconds...then beat myself for even thinking like that.

am i happy? what is happiness? how do i achieve it?

sometimes i wonder what things would be like today if i had made different choices in the past. i wish my life was like one of those choose your fate goosebumps books by r.l. stein and that i could cheat and look back and see what would have happened if i decided to call someone for help instead of going into the basement in search of some fearsome monster.

i wish things were that easy...but i know theyre not...nor will they ever be....but it would be neat.

i also wish someone would let me know what the fuck im supposed to do with my life...what im going to amount to...things i cant possibly fathom on my own. i mean yes, you can in some parts control your fate....but i think theres a map for everyone....you just have to find the path. maybe if i knew the 3 different endings to my own choose your fate novel id have a sound mind and go about my way trying to achieve the best possible ending. but would that be too easy?

i know one day im going to be something. something amazing. not necessarily madonna amazing. but amazing on my own level...an amazing that will keep me content with my life and my self. but when? how much longer is it going to take me? who can i trust to help me get to where i need to go? where the fuck do i even NEED to go?

i cant even listen to myself. or my heart. everything is clouded. my insides feel like a shitty new york club with too much black paint, stains, and smoke. id like to learn to trust my instincts and do what feels right....but clearly i cant due to club black, stained, and smokey.

have i ever done the right thing? made that one tiny right decision to set off a whirlwind of smaller decisions, as equally important...but far more difficult?

its no secret that i fear the future....but its a new revelation to me....that i fear the past as well.

im big on the what ifs. what if peter leaves me? what if i loose everything? what if i die? I wish i could erase those two words from my vocabulary indefinitely. i think i could maybe exit my shitty new york club and start figuring things out.

...if only i could figure out how to banish 'what if'.

runaway bride

2009-06-27T17:04:00.002-04:00

this is what it must feel like to have 'cold feet'.

i have a terrible unsettling feeling in my stomach, and its not from the disgustingly over-topped bacon cheese steak and fried mozzarella i downed earlier.

the reviews are in. and my new apartment building is shitty. its old, it has charm. and it also has intruding management, and workers. Seriously though, that doesn't sit well with me. I feel like I'm setting myself up for some sort of rape scene. Its like...i know someone will barge into my apartment and possibly rape me, but i don't know when...and though i have knowledge of said rape scene...i still allow myself to move in and wait kindly to be raped.

I have nice things, and i don't want trash fondling my shoes, purses, or downloading scat porn when I'm not home.

I'm having second thoughts, and its far too late.

current obsession

2009-06-21T04:03:00.003-04:00

doing my nails in funny animal prints. I do them myself because the nail lady at my salon this 'zebra' means random terrible squiggles. I seriously threw up a little when she did my other hand. I totally poured acetone on that hand and got rid of that shit.

Anyways, current nails...top photo: cheetah. Before that was tiger...that photo is of the bad hand, the other hand looked a lot better, and then zebra was before that...my personal favorite. But I don't know, white nails...I wasn't feeling it. It looked odd.

everybody here is popping pills

2009-06-20T22:10:00.000-04:00

So. Buttons.

life is throwing me so many curve balls right now. and lets be real...tranny doesn't like baseball.

I wish my mom had robbed a bank when she was younger...and got away with it..and invested her stolen money into something...something people invest their stolen money into and create more money? Russian Mafia stock?

well wait...who am I kidding, shed totally not give me any stolen cash and or invested Russian mafia cash...shes totally like that. but whatever. meh.

i have a closet full of designer clothes, shoes, purses, a wonderful fiance-ish, and an uber rad family...ish and I'm still not satisfied. I don't understand myself sometimes. I really would like to know what its going to take to make myself satisfied. I assume the answer involves millions of dollars. Millions owned and millions spent.

I really want to be in like a band or something. I love going to shows...watching the artists get into is so cool...the rush they must feel has to be amazing. Maybe even better than meth. So I need to get my hands on said rush...because drugs are boring. I think I might actually be satisfied if I was in a kick ass band. I don't need to be the head. I can like...rock out on a bass...and totally manage to snag as much spotlight as needed because lets be real, its me. ME. I always get what I want. That sounds really shitty...but its totally true. I strive for what I want...believe it or not...and most of the time, I win. I like to win.

id only be in the band if we were called like...the Raybanettes or the Little Rascals...i like those two and those two alone...for now. I imagine the sound would be like something crazy peaches meets be your own pet topped off with a little placebo. and ta da, you have a tranny band. Minus the tranny. because lets make one thing clear....my dick will never be inverted into my groins. its very convenient to be able to pee anywhere I want.

so petey and I applied for this killer apt in glover park...which is like the weirdest place ever. Its like a little mini city but kind of suburb area. right above georgetown. so i can go window shopping on my days off - DANGEROUS. but I'm excited. pray for us? I get THE call tuesday. so nervous. If this doesn't work out, we're going to find a sublet for the time being....fuck my life.

posting a blog with apt photos....I've been sitting here for 10 minutes waiting for the photos to upload...I don't have time for this shit, hah.

now im going to juvie for teenage homicide

2009-06-10T01:15:00.000-04:00

Doesn't matter anyway, cuz I've got a brand new friend, okay
Me and her, we'll kick your ass,
we'll wait with knives after class!

Boring.

2009-03-06T00:23:00.003-05:00

marijuana, cocaine, heroin....boring.

So I fell in love with the Pierces a year ago. And yeah. The song 'Boring' makes me happy.

blah blah blah. So much is going on. So much good, so much bad...so much STUPIDITY.

I want to run away...throw Petey in my purse and run somewhere...hes totally short enough.

Galliano, Donatella, Dolce and Gabbana...boring

Life is such a chore.

duh

2009-01-17T17:42:00.004-05:00

I feel like a lot of people are taking me for granted.

I may be the witness to a huge huge potentially gigantic scandalous scam right now...but everyone is just looking at me like im a third wheel.

Im used to it though...third wheel, fifth wheel, orgy. Whatever...basically in the end im going to get the last laugh.

Moving on.

Life is rocky. 2009 is gay. My boyfriend cheated on me.

In a nutshell.

New Years was aweful. I was soberish. Peter was wasted. I found out he cheated on me twice..."Thats nice...I did it too..." way to love someone...right? Were on the rocks. Ish. I feel like Im in love with him and hes just cruising along...weve talked about moving in...he wants to...for relationship reasons...not just to get out from his parents place. But thats a hueg huge huge step. Gigantismo. Ive done it once before...for all the wrong reasons and I just dont want to fuck up a good thing (any more so than i already have) I think were doing a little better now? But with the Inauguration and shit going down hes really busy with work...I honestly havent seen him for weeks. Its killing me. Its so hard to be in love with someone and not see them. Im a mess emotinally right now. And the fact that an old flame just randomly pops back up at this point in time is NOT helping.

...and im still looking for a job. Ive had a trial at two places..one a spa, one a salon. Lets be honest...the spa didnt work out. They hated me. I hated them. It smelled like farts in there.

The salon was a lot better. It was something I was used to...great people, great fun. Im hoping they liked me.

So heres to 2009. May you be filled with percocet, vicodin, valium, and adderall to numb the pain! God damn 2000 fucking 9.

Are you there God?

2008-12-23T03:16:00.004-05:00

Things are going okay. Im dealing with so much unwanted drama right now.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW

I want these fucking Christian Louboutin shoes.

When I get them...I will be burried in them

...honestly, God?

2008-12-16T03:06:00.004-05:00

...ive been praying. ive been trying so fucking hard. what more can i fucking do?

...i cant even put into words how useless I fucking feel right now. i feel like a piece of shit on the bottom of someones shoe....being stepped on and walked all over. over. and over. i feel like fucking dying.

i cant take this anymore. im sick of this. what the fuck is wrong with me? i dont get it. i dont understand. what the fuck have i done to deserve this shit? i may be an asshole to people, i may be a racist every now and then, i may lie, i may cheat, ive stolen. but fuck.

honestly.

just fuck it.

I. WANT. TO DIE.

there really doesnt seem to be a reason as to why i should be here right now...if it wasnt for my fucking mother, grandmother and boyfriend I think i would have just killed myself a long time ago....spared everyone the fucking trouble of walking all over me and using me and throwing me away like a fucking used tampon.

WELL IM NOT A FUCKING USED TAMPON YOU FUCKING CUNTS. IM A FUCKING HUMAN, i have needs. I have feelings. I have shit I need to take care of..........do you not understand?!

i really dont even know what to do with myself anymore.

i really wish i was fucking rich so i wouldnt have all these things pilling on top of my fucking back. i can only sell so much...i can only sell myself for so long. i dont want to do porn...but as of right now its looking like the only option for fast cash.....considering I sure as hell am not going to fuck some perv for $200. or sell drugs.

i just want to cuddle with petey...so bad. i like when we cuddle. and when we fall asleep together.

i want to marry him.

i really wish someone could just tell me what was wrong with me.

the song Goodnight, Travel Well by the Killers is what im currently listening to...on repeat. its a depressing song. atleast the music is sad. not the lyrics? it might have brought on this blog....or maybe im just a fucked up person.....who cares anyways.

...rethinking shit

2008-12-09T21:26:00.002-05:00

So....I have a few things running through my head right now....looking for a new job is a pain in its own....if someone is hiring wait staff its the worst hours ever. Ive sent out so many emails and nothing.

Im banking on one salon right now...and I cant really do that.

...so Im talking to a producer right now. from a Porn Studio. Ive got a lot of connections in the Adult Film Industry and really considering doing some work. The pays good, I can make it by and then some....ive got a lot of thinking to do.

Pamela Anderson...youre a hypocrite.

2008-12-03T01:55:00.001-05:00

..shes so loose.
shes all "i dont like leather...blah blah blah chickens! yay peta."
then you always see her wearing christian louboutin shoes.

....leather. shoes. pamela. and leather shoes.
does she know shes wearing a dead animal on her feet?
lets tattoo hypocrite on her face in her sleep!

...and then im going to steal her shoes

Halloween: Take 2

2008-11-26T05:28:00.003-05:00

TRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNYTRANNY

More pix from Halloween. I dont have any with Roberto or the bf....thats alcohols fault...not mine.

This is me

2008-11-26T00:18:00.001-05:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Dear New York,

2008-11-20T04:42:00.001-05:00

You drained me. Both of my wallet and energy.

I now hate you.

Control Bad Pet Behavior

2008-11-15T16:04:00.003-05:00

these brought the lolz

I have a crush on this man...

2008-11-12T01:31:00.002-05:00

...im going to make Peter get all muscley like that....and if and when he does.

shotgun wedding.

Will you hold the shotgun, Mom?

vintage doodles.

2008-11-10T01:40:00.002-05:00

I used to draw these when i was stranded in the public library.

...i was troubled.

its a girls night.

2008-11-10T01:31:00.003-05:00

something tells me this is going to be a shitty birthday.

im really hoping mother has something else up her sleeve. she always does.

meh.

im all for dinner at fancy resturants...but i dont know.

i want something real.

and yeah. well. he doesnt. ish.

"hey boy. dont you wish you coulda been a good boy. try to find another girl like me boy. feel me when i tell you i am fine and its time for me to draw the line."

sorry....hannah montana interlude.

bigtiny is fun and all...but i think im psyching myself out or something. god im a loser.

anyways. im hoping people give me money. im selling shit i dont ever use. its weird. theres this kid on myspace whos bought a lot of my stuff...and its creepy. but whatever. i feel kind of bad for ripping him off....but sisters got bills.

P.S.

2008-11-04T02:49:00.000-05:00

its my fucking birthday month.

bitches.

life without thumbs

2008-11-04T02:48:00.001-05:00

i think i want to donate my thumbs to science...

and then see what its like to live without thumbs.

ganj.

Halloween: Take 1

2008-10-28T23:30:00.002-04:00

With Halloween only days away, its not surprise theres tons of costume parties going on.

Before I debut my Jessica Rabbit costume, Im going out as a flapper girl...with optional tommy gun.

I had way too much fun with my lipstick...and lack of shaving.

my boyfriend.

2008-10-23T20:22:00.002-04:00

petey is beyond adorable. he can father my babies any day.

tig ol biggies

2008-10-21T23:25:00.002-04:00

For halloween im going to be Jessica Rabbit. A dream of mine forever. Shes such a hot bitch! So Ive decided to step it up and really do this right.

I searched for the perfect fabric to MAKE my dress, the perfect gloves, the perfect wig...and the perfect BOOBS.

They cost a pretty penny...but so worth it.

THEYRE HUGE. Im going to have lots of fun with these.

Ive already had offers to get tittyfucked. Surprisingly thats a first!

The bf is going as Roger Rabbit. His idea....which earned him huge brownie points!

Theres going to be a costume contest...cross your fingers and toes and pray I win!

This is love.

2008-10-20T18:45:00.002-04:00

Period. End. Fin.

Raw footage of a DC Gay caught in the act.

2008-10-19T15:02:00.002-04:00

In a nutshell.

Life.
Death.
Sex.
Lies.
Money.

I felt like typing random things that came into my head. And those dont seem random enough.

Penis.
Pooter.
Senile.
Fucker.

I like that one better.

Trying to stay sane...

2008-10-08T19:38:00.002-04:00

trying to stay sedated.

so much going on this week. bajesus.

I honestly need to sell shit. I need money. I need to stop spending. I need to stop like....living. Basically.

Ive been sewing so much lately. Im over it. If I have to sew another thing (which I do) I might cry.

penis!!!!

right now....the only thing keeping me sane is Santo Gold. She sounds like M.I.A. just a lot less dirty looking. Not that M.I.A. looks dirty....but she looks like she could use a good head scrub....and a brush.

How?

2008-10-04T23:18:00.003-04:00

So I know what I want in life. I know where I want to be, both financially and socially. But I dont know how to get to where I want to be. I really have no idea. I know it wont come with a bat of my eyelashes. Trust me...Ive tried. But I honestly need to sit down and think about it.

I want a lot. Its going to be very tough...that much I know.

I dont want a huge house. I dont want to be a superstar. I just want to be able to afford the lifestyle I THINK I have. To be brutally honest to myself I life beyond my means...and its starting to take a toll on me and I really need to fucking stop.

I got an invite to this Fashion Show/Party for next friday, and this stylist will be there. Hes not my favorite person in the world...but then again I dont know him too well. He just seems way too full of himself.

But I would like to talk to him and try and get as much insight as to how to get things rolling or whatever. Where to start, shit to know, and all those important things.

Hopefully he wont be a cunt.

ughs.

The return of "Mr. Hollywood"...yeah....hollywouldnot.

2008-10-02T00:11:00.002-04:00

Theres this cheap disgusting tacky 10 cent version of me running around Los Angeles (more like Nebraska or some shit) who thinks hes something special.

I'm not some spoiled little rich kid. And neither are you, doll face.

Anyways. This kid makes me want to commit suicide on a live feed with 10 million viewers. NAKED.

hes so dingy. so....tranny.

now, I cant really cast any stones in the tranny division...but i don't don a beyonce weave and run around with some ancient louis vuitton purse like the world owes my fat ass an apology.

I wear nice hair. I carry a nice Birkin. I walk around like I'll fucking slit your throat if you look at me the wrong way....as one should, I feel.

Mr. IMNOT Hollywood has been stalking me via Myspace for the past 2 years. He even created a fake lindsay lohan profile and sent me all these emails about how hes so rich, and lindsay hates me and the fact that I dress up like her freaks her out.

BITCH PLEASE. I clicked on the pictures he had posted on the "lindsay" profile and got the URL for HIS photobucket. Yeah, you almost had me.

Anyways he IMs me and tries to have an iChat with me. I decline. I don't want to hear a tranny whose forgotten their months supply of estrogen because they had to buy new weave. No no no. Its like midnight. Ive been up all night watching ghost tv shows. A tranny convo might throw me into complete "our father who art in heaven..." praying mode.

But here's our rather interesting convo. Don't excuse my cuntyness. I don't like random IMs. Especially form people with Harry Potter screen names. Way to deface all that is POTTER!

I'm a nerd.

officially.

ATTENTION: Talk session .
ATTENTION: Talk session initiated.
Miles DeNiro: You agian.
bus230: oh nooo im mista holliwood
Miles DeNiro: Once more. You again.
ATTENTION: Talk session disconnected.
nimbus230: http://www.myspace.com/socialite101
Miles DeNiro: I know. Gross.
Miles DeNiro: please loose my sn
nimbus230: k anyways this isnt my screen name its a friends
nimbus230: so i dont have u added
Miles DeNiro: then how the fuck did U IM me?
Miles DeNiro: i dont like trannies..
nimbus230: through my friends aim
nimbus230: and im not black lmao
Miles DeNiro: especially ones who create fake lindsay lohan accounts and send me nasty emails...tranny isnt black?
nimbus230: lindsey is my bfffff. she hates you.
Miles DeNiro: please go kill yourself.
nimbus230: hahaha
nimbus230: your funny
Miles DeNiro: and youre dellusional. So why dont you go take your weave back to Sallys beauty supply and hang yourself on your scarf.
nimbus230 signed off at 12:11:23 AM.
nimbus230 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

I think I got my point across.

Me. On MTV?

2008-09-26T23:28:00.003-04:00

So. I might be on the Real World 22.

Excited much?

The homo they pick always ends up getting a lot of press in the gay mags and shit. I'm down.

My boss, Rebecca thinks I will get all big headed and become too "superstar" to work at the salon.

Maybe.

We'll see. ahahaha. I dont think Id get like that actually. But Id talk about NOTHING but Rachel Zoe on the show and pray she gets the fucking picture and we meet...then I steal all her purses and shoes and yeah.

Faggotry in Motion.

2008-09-17T23:30:00.002-04:00

This is what happens when I get bored. I play limbo in Balenciaga heels and capture it on film.

Yeah.

I die.

2008-09-17T10:17:00.002-04:00

What with fall/winter coming up...I cant wait to bring out my inner Rachel Zoe.

Im totally excited. I have these amazing dark blue suede Balenciaga boots I need to break out, and the fur! Gah. I got this amazing long haired vintage fur coat on ebay. For a steal: $21.50. Dead. Fucking. Serious.

I die.

I need to jump start my fall bitches.

urban dictionary

2008-09-12T22:51:00.003-04:00

So I was doing this sto0opid survey for myspace...and I was supposed to goto urban dictionary and type my answers in and post the first result.

Well...t'was amusing. And it all weirdly fit. Heres the best answers:

Whats your Mothers name? Rio - When you see someone who is so fucken stunning and just want to get them in your pants.

Man dude: holyfukenmonkeyballsman check out that chick! Other manthing: -orgasm- Woah she's soooooo Rio!
Whats your name? Miles - A different Miles, but similarly a good sort. The epitomy of sex, style and grace.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Fucking Miles or something?
What do you want to be in life? Stylist (like Rachel Zoe) - The use of hair products for masturbation. Using hair spray for gripping purposes.

You can get a tight tug with some aqua net on your dick. I really want to abuse myself tonight so I am going to try the stylist.
What is your boyfriend/girlfriends name? Pietro - One who can often be seen quarreling with the creature known as harrison. Many of said quarrels question the sexuality of his opponent.

The Italian Stallion (they must have seen him nude!)

Pietro: "Harrison, you're gay"

After that question I got bored. They were gay answers....these ones were just the best.

Sink or Swim, bitch.

2008-09-08T13:09:00.002-04:00

Petey is adoarble.

The ocean is hardcore.

I still have sand in my hair. And ass.

AND IM STILL FUCKING PALE.

Some old queens walked past me and said "thhspeaking of culourrrrr"

...faggots.

FIEND.

2008-08-26T03:00:00.002-04:00

I have a mental illness. Where I shop. Too much. Drastically.

Im dying for a fucking macbook. I almost bought one. But jesus wouldnt let me and best buy just happened to be out. Well fuck.

I still want one.

Anyways. Im in love. ish. Peter dont read this and missinterpret it. Because Im in love with shopping.

Not peter. But I do like peter. A lot.

Its like 3am and theyre playing some shitty amature music videos on vh1. Im sorry. But be glad im not posting my spoken word poems on here....I savd those for some african american community. Where people call me brutha and shit. I told them my name was Toby (like from roots.). Is that too harsh?

MY NAME IS TOBY.

bahaha.

kkk.

but not really.

Beer?

I want one...

2008-08-11T02:04:00.001-04:00

and while youre at it....give me Robbie Williams too!

Im going to hell...fast

2008-08-08T01:39:00.002-04:00

So this fucking bitch keeps calling me. And not like on my cell phone. I get a lot of weird cell phone calls...and Im cool with that...but DONT FUCKING CALL MY HOUSE AT FUCKING 7AM BITCH.

As soon as I got a home line, I registered for the do not call list. And of course, ignorant people dont fucking get it. SO. I had to go all psycho just now and let little Lindsay Mcgee know how I felt about her early morning/late night phone calls.

I call her number. It goes to her voicemail. So I kindly say:

YOU NEED TO STOP FUCKING CALLING ME! My number is *** *** **** and you have called me FUCKING 4 TIMES TODAY. THATS FUCKING PATHETIC. I am on the do not call list, and will be reporting you. STOP FUCKING CALL ME YOU CUNT.

So so mean. I dont feel bad at all. This motherfucker has called me about 4 times at 5am trying to tell me stupid shit about some god damn boat shit. And then shes called me twice after 1am. That doesnt fucking fly with me....obviously.

I hope she got the fucking picture.

I understand and I wish to continue

2008-08-03T18:56:00.003-04:00

"My bouffant can beat up your bouffant." Said the boy with the dialted pupils.
"Yeah well my boobs can beat up your boobs." Said the girl who once was a boy.

My friend Alyssa is coming to DC. She finally got her boobs! Im so excited. Shes come such a long way. Cant cant cant wait.

AND tomorrow my new Louboutins will be here.

They call me HELL

2008-07-23T09:06:00.002-04:00

Went and saw the Ting Tings last night. It was prettymuch amazing.

My vocal shit hurts so much right now from screaming like a little girl.

I didnt get many cool pictures because my camera was on the verge of dying....so the pictures always come out...artsy fartsy weird.

the Princess and the Pee

2008-07-21T20:17:00.003-04:00

Cable. Internet. Telephone. And I'm still an unhappy Princess.

Whats wrong with me?

Im dating someone. Someone I like a lot. Possibly too much. And Im kind of like...fucking it up. Because im so like...into him. Boys suck.

why don't you do right...

2008-07-12T14:51:00.000-04:00

This hangover is not cute.

New York Kimchi!

2008-07-05T12:52:00.000-04:00

New York, NY.

I love New York.

I spent last weekend in NY. It was prettymuch amazing. I spent way too much money. Ruined a pair of Christian Louboutin wedges in the rain. Was told by a 5th Avenue Mother that her Daughter and I were twins (We were both wearing white tank tops, black leggings, and had Balenciaga purses.) The daughter was none too pleased....but I found it to be amusing.

The best part of the trip was this little resturant in Korea Town called New York Kimchi - I think. They had these placemats with all this shit in Koren written on it with the English translation under it. The translations were so funny...here's the best ones:

New York Kimchi provides beneficial bacteria to everyone including the old and the weak. (Great...I'm eating bacteria)

Children love New York Kimchi for it has no offensive smell. (It actually smelled like Korean people. That's not too offensive though.)

Nutritional values increase when New York Kimchi is fully fermented. (Fermented with.....semen?)

I wanted to steal the placemat! But my date wasn't very keen to the idea of stealing something for entertainment. He wouldn't even let me steal their really cool steel chopsticks.

Lame.

Oh. It was also pride weekend in NY. So whilst shopping I saw a blip of the parade. Saw some DC fags I know. And NY fags I know. It was fun. It was lame. It was NY pride. Meh.

I just kind of love how I was running around the city in expensive shoes and no one gave a shit because I looked deadly.

Ahahaa.

Thus, I love New York.

Cleopatra...coming at ya

2008-06-28T21:03:00.000-04:00

That's from some nerdy ass song. Don't know what. Someone google "cleopatra coming at ya" and let me know.

On the way to newwwww york. Once again. Stoked, a little. Peeing, no?

Things that have happened thus far that make me giggle:

Miles: The Acella looks like a big futuristic robot penis.
Rebecca(my boss): Penis...gross.

I sliced my thumb open on my Gucci Indy purse. Not so giggle worthy...but it happened none the less.

My crunchy $5 cheese burger via Amtrak. The best 5 bucks I've ever spent.

And last but so not least.

Peeing in the trains bathroom sink because I thought it was a tall person urinal. There's no water nobs or mirror. I was all excited.

Then it wouldn't flush.

Oops.

so...

2008-06-14T17:28:00.000-04:00

...hungover

...over this

...tired

...bored

...moody

...incoherent

...careless

...thirsty

...hungry

Can I get home already? Its Gay Pride weekend and I'm not very gay pride-ish. I'm skipping the Parade. Why the fuck would I want to go see a parade in this shitty ass weather anyways? And I'll be working tomorrow...so I can't goto the festival. Which has no good entertainers...you get nothing out of it besides free pamphlets and shit from different vendors. Like I need more useless piles of papers and junk? As if.

deception is an evil thing.

2008-06-11T23:56:00.000-04:00

It feels weird to wake up and goto work and come back to a place that's actually yours. Its new. Its got a new house scent to me. Its something I don't like. I'm mentally unprepared for this. I don't like that I have to worry about this and that. Its just...ew. I feel like I'm just lying to myself or something. I lie to people all the time...so why wouldn't I lie to myself? I actually don't know what I mean...but it means something.

This is just so adult for me. I have barbies and other toys sitting ontop of my fridge and microwave. THAT I PLAY WITH. I sleep with stuffed animals, and wear fuzzy slippers. I feel adultish. I work an actual job. I make actual important decisions. I now have to worry about the actions caused by the things I do. Its annoying.

I think I might be over analyzing things. But stressing out over money and trying to do math makes no sense to me. Its abstract, unknown, alien-esque. I don't know how to figure out my hours and pay periods. Nor do I care. I know I'm working my ass off, thus I must make lots of moniesss. But am I? GAH. Stop thinking, tranny...you'll save yourself a lot of trouble.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living a lie too. I feel like I make myself seem way cooler than I actually am. But when I polled people, they said I was actually way cooler than they expected and really nice. But they also said I'm a big bitch. I am a bitch. Lets be honest. I'm ill tempered and rude. Unless I know you well I don't give two shits what your selling, what you want me to donate to or what kind of deal you have for me. I have a sign above my crotch that says "No Soliciting" that applies to you, not me. (Did I spell soliciting right? So-li-cit-ing..whatever) I mean I can be nice...but what the hell is that going to get me? Well no...that's not totally true. I'm GENERALLY nice. But like I said, I'm ill tempered. I go off on anything. And when you cross me...you've crossed me for a good while. I don't hold grudges all like that....but I will remain two-faced and act peachy keen to gain whatever I need to gain to kick start your own pitfall. So kind--right? I'm just real. I guess? I lie to people I don't know....but other than that I'm real I think. And about the lying, I mean like with my clients. If I'm doing your hair I'm going to lie out the ass to keep up with your silly convo. "Oh yeah, I just LOVED Utah. It was amazing." "Oh arnt children just the best? I can't wait til my sister has a kid so I can spoil it." Lying comes easy to me in a situation like that...I'm only lying to you because I want a tip darling. Otherwise I'd be silent while I worked, and boring. I don't know what the hell to say to you. Thus I lie to you. Way easier. Plus I like to hear people tell me I'm going to have so much fun in Spain, London, Italy and Ibiza. Ahaha. But seriously. Its all in good fun. I'm not saying I didn't kill someone when I did, or saying I'm some neo nazi or whatever.

Hail Hitler?

This has been a weird blog. Quite revealing I think? Maybe its the champagne....maybe I don't want to decieve anyone? Maybe I'm just gay.

thank you for the funky time...

2008-06-10T13:37:00.000-04:00

...call me up whenever you want to grind.

Sing it, Prince.

Everything is a mess right now, literally...like random things everywhere. Not: life in shambles; mess. I'm tired of my apartment echoing too.

Its scary. And weird.

And can a bitch get some AC?

Where for art thou sugar Daddy.

ick...

2008-06-06T22:37:00.002-04:00

So over packing.

People are bugging me to go out tonight...Im fighting it. But I kind of want to get wasted and know that tomorrow I wont have to deal with anyones shit but my own.

But then again...Im no where close to being finished packing. Mom will KILL me if I have her get to DC all early and Im not ready.

Plus Un-Fashionista Receptionista and I are going out NEXT friday. Maybe I should have my "idontneedtodealwithyourshitanymore" drunken night then instead?

I hate doing the right thing....back to packing Boy Wonder...no more procrASStinating.

DTF!

2008-06-04T21:19:00.003-04:00

DivaTrannyFeroshia has a place.

DivaTrannyFeroshia will no longer be living with fat losers who mooch off of others.

DivaTrannyFeroshia has a walk-in closet. Nothing uber fancy....but still.

DivaTrannyFeroshia is sick of packing. Un-packing will be even worse!

and lastly...DivaTrannyFeroshia is DEAD broke.

ahem.

life is like a thong...

2008-06-02T16:09:00.003-04:00

...its kind of fun, but a pain in your ass.

I just made that up, on my own. I want to plaster it on tees and billboards now.

Ugh...so so busy.

I'm in the midst of hopefully getting my own place....I almost typed face. aha ha. Anyways. My own place, yes. I'm nervous about it though...what if I don't get it?! Everyone I tell always says "Well you had a co signer...so basically you're going to get it!" but I always over analyze things and freak out. Like when I watch something so not scary but psych myself out and make it super worse.

Cross your fingers an toes people....I find out this week if I'm approved!

Nylon Music Tour: Take 2

2008-06-02T16:00:00.005-04:00

Bruise Count: 4

Body Count: 2

Adrenaline Level: HIGH

I hate kids. My mantra of the evening.

Kids = Bag of Shit

Ive never seen so many grody little demons in one confined space. It was like the freaks and geeks of every DC public high school came to party with the cool kids.

And it wasn't pretty.

To the girl I pretty much kicked in the vagina...I'm sorry. But I warned you. I physically grabbed you, shook you, and told you to back the fuck off of me. But you didn't get it. So either your inner thigh or pooter met the heel of my boot.

To the fat straight guy I sucker punched in the neck/chest...I'm not sorry. You were gross, and sweaty, all up in my space, AND YOU TOUCHED MY HAIR. We're not talking you felt it....you got your fingers in it and went crazy. NO NO NO. And don't fucking rub your wetness all on me....I'll punch you in the nose next time...like I was planning.

I'm a rotten, nasty little girl.

Nylon Music Tour

2008-05-28T17:47:00.004-04:00

The Nylon Music Tour was simply magical. Touching Cory Kennedys boob was like...the highlight, obvie.

Shes seriously so cool, and her style is kick ass. Dont ask about what Im wearing please...it looked good in the morning?

The concert was pretty fucking awesome. The Virgins stole my tattoo...but theyve got this whole vintage look about them...acid wash jeans, crazy old sneakers, rolled up cuffs, vintage tees....whats not to love about that?! Then, Be Your Own Pet. Everyone HAD to be under 16. Little tiny lead singer and then all of a sudden shes like screaming into the mic. Theyre like a throwback No Doubt mixed with a screamo band. I loved it, mother...not so much.

She Wants Revenge was really good too. Even though I only knew like 1 song. hah. But the gaggle of [fat] goth chicks was sickening. I wanted to puke...on their exposed fatty breasts.

I didnt get a tee shirt. I got leggings...which are wayyy cooler.

ASSisted Living

2008-05-28T09:32:00.002-04:00

So going to visit my Great Grandmother in philly was a trip nonetheless. She fell and messed up her hip or something so shes in an assisted living place right now...and she cannot express how much she hates it. But honestly, if I lived there I dont think id hate it! The food yes, but the people are TOO much. This guy, for instance. I was trapped sitting behind him for a while...and I must have had my devious plans written all over my face because mom says: "DONT push him."

Bitch, how did you know?!

I only wanted to give him a little pushy push. Nothing rash! Not like his ass would have even noticed. Or woken up. But I could see the situation turning into something bad...some old dying, sleeping man slowly wheeling down the hall and into the wall (because you know I would have pushed him too fast and he would have kept going and going and going until BAM)

Whatever...he wanted it.

All the crazy ladies there made me laugh. Theyre all in denial about falling asleep mid-sentence or about their hearing. Pft. When Im old im going to run aroun with a loudspeaker and make people talk into it for me.

It was good to see grams. But the rest fo my family....not so much. My cousins turned out slutty. As have I. So we really are family. Middle cousin really benefited from her nose job. Bitch went from jewish girl, to porn star in 2 hours with a recovery time of 2 weeks. (But next time fix the turned up pig snout.) LOVE YAH!

Im going to hell, no?

wow.

2008-05-26T19:13:00.001-04:00

Why does it hurt me so much to see his ass with someone else?

I thought I was over him?

And what the fuck slut is laying in his bed half naked with the fucking door open?

Great replacement for me.

10 bucks says this kids 17.

80s Child

2008-05-24T20:42:00.003-04:00

Like I said before, Im stuck on the whole vintage thing.

I really really realllyyyyy like wearing leggings and giant vintage tees. Its like...being naked. Kind of.

Im trying to save (me save?) so Im not touching the money in my bank...Im spending a little from the weekly tips I make. And by a little I mean I stick 20 in the bank and go on a vintage-free-for-all, but hey I earned it...what with touching dirty people.

My favourite store, Annie Creamcheese is hiring. Im thinking those 2 days I have off of my salon I could work there. A little extra money in the bank, some fun co workers, AND A FUCKING EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. The only time ED ever stood for something good! And if youre like "What? ED? Something good?" Erectile Disfunction - ED. Hello? Anyways...the store manager loves me...THE Annie loves me...everyone loves me. Whats not to love? So Im firing away a resume and we'll see were it goes.

if only finding a place was just as easy.

Mother, take note to the fact that I am in fact saving money and not pissing away paychecks! I dont want to feel your wrath!!!! Har har.

Never gunna be...the same again...nevergunnabe...the same again!!!

2008-05-24T12:21:00.000-04:00

So I have to confess. Lately I've been stuck in this 80s vibe.

I bought Teen Witch and the Mannequin the other day.

There's this song in the begining of Teen Witch called Never Gonna Be or something. And the song makes my heart flutter.

Rjuitryfjiutfgoti89r.

I get to see Philly Granny tomorrow...I'm so excited. Mother and I are roadtripping it I believe.

Still roomate hunting. Its a fucking pain in my white ass.

meh.

2008-05-21T03:58:00.002-04:00

I spent all day today in bed.

I was given a shot and some meds by the doctor on monday, only to wake up tuesday puking and shitting my brains out....not cute.

Im so frail, im so pale. It hurts to move. It hurts to cry, it hurts to think.

So so soooo much is going on right now. I dont even know hwo to react to it.

I think I knew it was coming....I can sense things like this, but I honestly dont know what to do about it.

I just want to run away. I want to run to someplace where no one can find me, someplace I can be me.

...i love you.

I am an artist, I am art.

2008-05-19T23:04:00.002-04:00

Stephanie came to do a photo shoot for Parlours new website. And while she was on a break I stole her camera and went crazy. Theres these peeling bricks on our balcony (I later learned the only type of paint that peels has lead in it...and I licked one of those paint chips too!) and I always thought it would make a great photo. So...I captured it.

Its fucking great. Admit it.

As many of you know, I won a contest for Queer Trash, this gay pin up cartoon poster company. Well they turned me into a poster. And I'm naked...hands up if you haven't seen me naked. har har.

Anyways its scary...because it looks so much like me. It freaks me out. To see the original size go to www.queertrash.com/voinourco.html

And a big thanks to the Artist for making my ass look great.

I'm attaching the photo they based my drawing on.

Life in a bubble.

2008-05-17T19:31:00.004-04:00

A bubble of pure evil fun! I was devious today. What with the prank calls to the sleazy men looking for busty black girls to escort and strip. I had the ghetto black girl thing down...its a gay thing.

That got boring so I answered some weird roommate ads from the city paper...as a ghetto black girl and a queer with a lisp. A baddd lisp.

My Christian Louboutins came yesterday evening and much to my surprise I was allowed to wear them to work. I can apparently wear heels whenever. You best believe my faggot ass is more than happy to hear that. On Tuesday I'm wearing my Yves Saint Laurent wedges....lets all bow our heads for a moment of prayer, and pray that my feet are cute by Tuesday.

I'm off Sunday and Monday...might do something I might regret later...but I live in the now. Fuck later.

And I wonder why things come back to me? Pft. I don't know. I need a release....but I'm sure theres much more better, smarter, and safer ways to do that.

But until then, call me Danger Boy Wonder. That has NO ring to it so only call me it ONCE.

PS. Saw Creepy Man* on the Metro this morning...was praying to Jesus, Alaha, and anyone that he didn't follow me to my Salon.

*Creepy Man: See Blog Titled "Stranger Danger [personified]"

The years have not been kind to Robert Smith

2008-05-13T08:57:00.003-04:00

Poor old man, most likley broke, fat, and wrinkly.

Atleast you still have the voice!

The Cure was aweeesome. Minus the beevy of children, posers, and old people. Whats up with old Goth people?!!?! Theyre the WORST. Stringy gray hair and corsets are never a good match....for anyone. My favorite was this old old old fatass who thought he was Robert Smith....I told mom it was him..but she didnt believe me...and after reviewing my pictures on my computer Im SURE it was him...theyre both old fat and weird looking.

I totally walked past Robert Smith in the hallway. I rock.

penis breath

2008-05-11T12:04:00.002-04:00

I just woke up. And by jut woke up I mean: IStillHaveEyeBoogersIJustWokeUp and IStillHaveMorningBreathIJustWokeUp. Thats killer people.

Im going shopping for vintage rocker tees today. I called this store Annie Creamcheese in Georgetown...theyre only the best vintage store in DC, and they have a bunch of rocker tees. So thanks to my tax return, I can now go shopping. Ahaha. AND the multitude of tips I made yesterday.

Theres a little voice that says: 'Stop spending all your fucking money.'

But I CANT listen to it. I dont want to have people think im crazy for listening to voices in my head...I have enough issues as it is.

Happy Majah Day.

STRANGER DANGER [personified]

2008-05-08T19:09:00.002-04:00

WHY. Why must these things happen to me? And when Im dressed so sensible!

I could have been raped, kidnapped, or murdered just now.

I get off work and goto the metro. I ahve to wait like 4 minutes for my train...well I spy with my bionic eye a pervert staring at me. Ew. Nothing new...but he creeps forward, emphasis on creep, and continues to stare at me intently. The train comes. I get on, Creep Man follows.

Out of ALL the empty seats he HAS to sit next to me. I have my ipod on and Im so not listening to what hes saying to me as he tries to ask me to scoot over and I respond "Cant you sit somewhere--" and then he tries to sit on my purse.

FUCK. Creep Man has successfully invaded my space. I make all these horrible noises and make nasty faces and move as far from him as I possibly can. THEN. I notice: HES RUBBING HIS FUCKING CROTCH. NEXT TO ME! I make some gagging puke noise and try not to cry. After about 3 stops he stand by the doors. THANK FUCKING GOD.

Wait...now when I get off Creep Man can follow me easily. (I already know hes going to follow me. Im really good at sensing things...and to my surprise...) I stand up to get off, he gets off before me and walks towards the escalators...I book it to the stairs and run out of the metro stop and into Safeway. (I want to be surounded by people If I need to beat this motherfucker down...and I needed to pick up some things.)

Everythings going well...no sign of Creep Man. I pick up some food and get into line. AND THERE IS CREEP MAN. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I try not to notice and frantically text my mother. Im so scared now. I KNEW this asshole was going to follow me. WHAT THE HELL MAN?! Hes just meandering by my area, then walks outside. I pay for my food and hes leaning against the wall...I notice him giving me that intent look again and I run across the street before the crosswalk says dont walk.

I call my mother in a panic beause this guy STARTS RUNNING FROM SAFEWAY ACROSS THE STREET following after me, I turn on my street and open my gate and this girl is all "Can you hold the gate for me?!!?" Had she not had been carrying a bunch of stuff I would have just kept running to my house. I dont want this guy to run and catch up to me and see where I live. NO NO NO.

I managed to get inside safely...but Im just so...ick. This is a horrible feeling to be honest. What the fuck were this guys intentions? Why the fuck would you follow me? Super scary kids. BE SAFE.

FUCK NICOLE!

2008-05-08T00:22:00.004-04:00

Little french boys! Meeeeep. I need more french boys in my life. Like french french. None of this canadian french bullshit. Canada sucks, thus; you suck by default.

The Teenagers were fabj00lus. Minus the fucking children (curfew for under 16 in DC is 11. GO HOME), the drunk fuck with his nappy haired girlfriend who was "press" pushing me out of my way to snap polaroids. Um no. If youre press why the fuck are you wasting polaroids you dumb fuck?...and then the scary mosh at the end. No no no. My toes were smushed and I was being tossed around like some twig with clothes on.

BUT. Monsieur Lovely was ALL up in my shit. Singing and dancing...and moshing. AND HE HUGGED ME. Kind of? And I was all rubbing on him. Oui oui.

The drummer is my favourite though. Shes so crazy cool. I tried getting pictures of her but her hair was all in her face and she was very anti film. I wanted to ask her for a picture when she was sitting in the back selling shit..but shes a creeper that girl! Imagine Chole Sevigny mixed with like some uber french haughty...and there you go. She was all quite and had this totally long deep intense look on her face....but when shes behind her drumset she totally lights up...as if she lives for music. Its fucking brilliant.

One of my fav songs by them is called "Fuck Nicole" and before they sang it they were all "Iz there anyvone named Neecole?" and I yell "FUCK NICOLE!" it was the icing on a cake of musical heaven....then all the little children thought they were going to be as cool as me and yell shit. I hate when people yell shit during concerts. THEY WILL NOT PLAY A SONG BECAUSE YOU YELL IT. They have a set list dumb ass. But I can get away with yelling "Fuck Nicole" because 1. Its the name of the song. 2. Its in the chorus...they basically yell "Fuck Nicole" and 3. Hello...its ME. They didnt sing my all time favvvvvvourite song "Tiger" though...I was sad. Next time?

Im pooped. And Hungry. FUCK. I work tomorrow too.

Money is EVIL

2008-05-05T00:39:00.002-04:00

So when you have money you become automatic asshole. Atleast I do. Tromping around Georgetown like im the shit with a major attitude.

Maybe im on my period...but bitches were in my WAY today. So if my purse or multitude of shopping bags happened to hit your fat ass Im sorry...maybe you should have moved when I muttered "Move bitch." or "Youre in the way." AND CONTROL YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN. I dont know how many times some little troll ran infront of me. I am NOT to be held accountable if I trample your demon spawn because it got in my way. Can you not see the faggot making a beeline for Neimans? And whats with all the children in Gucci and Dior? They do not cater to your drolling thinglets needs.

We all remember how I dislike Steve Madden. But I said I would cut him off after I buy these boots. And well...I bought them. But theres about 3 more pairs I want. SO after those 3, DONE. I mean it! Unless of course I find something totally cute again.

I like to take pictures of my legs on Joeys bed:

Hi My Name Is: Naomi Campbell

2008-05-03T03:11:00.004-04:00

The screen on my sidekick totally went blank today. The rest of it works...but everything else is like SHIT. I mean. I didn't take good care of it....because it doesn't have Balenciaga or Fendi strewn across it...but when I get a new one I'm def not going to go Naomi Campbell and toss it at some boys head in a drunken rage at the club. That's what they got heels for! Go a little Tawny Kitaen and leave my heel in some guys forehead. Ahahaa

I'm making BANK at my new salon...I walked home with about $150 and that's not including the tips from the stylists. PLUS PLUS PLUS. Tomorrow I'm getting paid in CASH since I started earlier and everyone is put on payroll Tues....so to make it easier I'm getting da cash upfront, G!!!! Bahaha. I love money. Money Money Money!

So Mommas investing in a few new things.

Sidekick Slide? Sidekick iD? Me rikey da sidekick slideee. So we'll see which one I pick.

Ipod Nano. My ipod totally died on me too (Miles needs to take care of his things, no?) And I've found amazing deals on Sidekicks and Ipods via craigslist...BUT I don't wanna get ripped off or something.

And lastly....you have rubbed me the wrong way, Steve Madden...what with your designer rip off shoes...but alas...you make amazing leather boots. I might indulge in a pair of white ankle cowboy-ish boots or those amazing knee high white slouch cowboy boots. ME RIKEY DA COWBOY BOOTS!

So I'm feeling pretty damn good obviously.

I'm the Salons Operations Assistant at Parlour. Theres no pesky assistants to deal with or cunt-ish stylists....and that's not some sort of secret message to anyone from Bang....I'm just sayin I aint gotta deal with no muthafuckin bitches and hoes. Which is great.

Not to mention my salon is fucking gorg. Super modern, super cute, super DIVA.

Pix to come.

Updates on phones and boots tomorrow!

Open letter to someone:

2008-05-01T23:32:00.003-04:00

Ive told you once before how thankful I was for everything you've done for me.

At no point did I ask you fat, medicated ass to butt into my god damn business.

I fucking cuss like a motherfucker. We ALL fucking know it. I'm sorry I wasn't born in 1912. I'm sorry I don't aspire to be a fat ass who sits on a couch all day watching PORN. I'm sorry I do not say thank you and this and that. I have manners actually...I just don't choose to use them with you. Why? Because you treat me like a wart on your fucking foot.

You don't even know me. So don't fucking plan things for me that do not involve you. Do not hold calls with specialists in regards to my drug problems. THEY'RE MY DRUG PROBLEMS. I am handling it. So know that, sit back, watch your fucking porn and eat a fucking hot dog.

I dont want to be your roommate.

2008-05-01T13:50:00.003-04:00

Looking for roommates is tiring and tedious. I feel I like I need to talk myself up like SO much. I mean people look at me and think I'm killer. But not roommate bitches. They look at me and hate me because I'm so skinny.

Sike...but I know that girl hated me because I'm so thin.

I WIN

2008-04-30T16:47:00.006-04:00

Hi, My Name Is: I am better than you!

Im excited to announce that I have a new Job! I will now be working at a brand new salon in DC called Parlour.

I start this friday. Im going to be the only assistant starting early! AND Im going to be the owners assistant. TALK A BOUT A LEG UP. I have every intention of becoming the first assistant and will do whatever it takes to get there.

So watch out bitches, Im playing to win. And I kill to win.

Isnt that just lovely?

2008-04-29T00:41:00.001-04:00

Liquid Nitrogen is my new worst enemy. I have the biggest hatred towards it as of tonight. I also hate my Doctor. Mrs. Barbara Lewis. That surprise finger up my ass was uncalled for.

Buy a bitch dinner first, lady!

What is love? Baby don't hurt me...

2008-04-28T01:17:00.001-04:00

Lately ive had this urge for a relationship. No kid shit. I want something real.

But it honestly scares me. I have this image...and this image is that im independant and non human. I apparantly have NO feelings. I didnt dub myself with this image. It was basically given to me without my want for it. And ive come to terms with it and basically dont give a fuck.

Its the furtherst from the truth. Im so NOT independant. I hate it, but look...im 19. How indepandant can a 19year old really be?

I guess im sick of being aloneish? Im not really alone. I have friends and all, but I just want to find someone I can actually open up to, and show the real me.

Good luck with that.

Words To Live By

2008-04-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

I saw this written on a curb on my way home from the Zoo and it kind of struck a nerve, in a good way. I figured I'd share the wisdom of one with you all.

the paparazzi caught my breasts hanging out

2008-04-25T00:58:00.000-04:00

SHAMEFUL!

le sigh

2008-04-23T15:32:00.001-04:00

Mother is leaving soonish.

Shes going to Romania in search of her long lost sister.

Sike. But tha would be cool. Shes going to Seattle. I hope she brings an umbrella. Its all rainy up in there.

omg, my breath smells like death...and I feel like a lizard.

What with all the peeling my tattoo is doing. Gross.

*peel*

"blaque dudez got big wood"

2008-04-23T03:01:00.001-04:00

ew...black dudes got big wood? No thanks Missy Elliot.

I start harm reduction group next Monday.

What harm am I reducing?

Am I harm to myself? Can I reduce myself?

"Can I hit that?"

WHATS WITH THE QUOTES?!?!?!FENVIODFNVKD

Im in such a....like...antsy pantsy restless mood. I want to just open my window and scream.

Scream for myself. And scream for all those people who cant scream. And then go eat.

all ive done recently is eat.

eat eat eat

eat ear eat

eat eat eat

I typed EAR in there....did you catch that?

Youre not even paying attention are you?

Im not checking my grammar nor running a spell check. I hope I spelled things terribly and didnt use proper punctuation. Suck on that.

Gossip Girl

2008-04-21T13:05:00.000-04:00

Okay. Big round of applause to everyone on the newest episode of this seasons Gossip Girl.

You guys did NOT dissapoint!

Bitches had me on edge!

And if any of you missed it....WELL SUCK A DECK.

or goto www.cwtv.com and watch the webisode.

YOU MIGHT PEE!

Paris BFF

2008-04-20T03:07:00.000-04:00

So I found out ages ago you had to be 21 to be able to get on Paris' show.

WELL EAT SHIT AND DIE.

But then Paris left me a comment and put me under her ideal besties.

AW.

I better get a fucking call from the producers for my interview. The start of the show likes me. I think that over rules ANY age issues....no?

Miles for the Win!

(we all know I'm doing this only to get closer to Miley Cyrus. I LUB JEW HANNAH MONTANA!)

MOMMY AND I ARE NOW OFFICIAL!

2008-04-18T18:20:00.000-04:00

We got all inked up today. It was fucking scary. I almost passed out. Mommy almost killed me (not really...but I could see it in her head playing out like a movie....choking me like Homer does to Bart or some shit.)

That's love people.

It was fun. Minus how we almost got in a car accident after. Sorry Mom.

It was my bad.

My tattoo says virgin. Which I totally am. Ive never seen a penis, nor touched one. Not even my own. I keep it duct taped to my leg. Ew. Penis.

Totally a virgin.

Mommy got an ampersand. aka this thing: &

No one knew what it was. I personally think they thought it was some sort of satanic symbol. My mother totally secretly worships the devil you know. She just wont admit it.

I do too. But I'm open about it. The devil and I go way back. Way before she wore Prada. I mean, who do you think MADE her wear Prada?!

Okay Miles, put down the vodka....you're scaring the children.

You Know You Love Me

2008-04-11T19:14:00.000-04:00

So for some reason Gossip Girl is taking this like. 5 week break and its killing me. I WANT TO FUCKING WATCH THE SHOW GOD DAMN IT.

Ive been reduced to watching webisodes online.

Sigh.

Can April 21 come any sooner?!

I only love the show because 1. Ive read every book, and 2. Id like to say my life is as dramatic as the characters on the show, thus I can relate to EVERYTHING.

PS! Mommy and I are getting tattoosies soon.

I'm ever so scared.

You know you love me XOXO

(bahahaha, thats from GG)

...

2008-04-10T15:11:00.000-04:00

Druggie: If you can find some T I'll buy it and split it with you

Miles: I don't know where to find any. Bye.

Why....why. WHY.

Seriously. I have enough issues as it is. So why do people feel the need to try and make me play with fire? I LOVE FIRE. We all know that.

GAH. I'm going to get Taco Bell today. I deserve it. So that means a trek to Virginia, I don't even care.

Sorry about not posting in a while...my life has been drug fueled lately....which isn't good...so Ive kind of been trying to take care of that first.

Fuck you Longchamp, and fuck Steve Madden too!

2008-03-20T05:11:00.000-04:00

So. I have this condition. And its a very terrible thing. Its called "ifuckinghatethat" and I'm sure I'm the only human in the world with this sort of problem.

To elaborate:

Every time I see this hideous bag...which is EVERYWHERE...a little something inside me goes crazy and I want to attack whomever may be carrying it and beat them to death and or near death.

Now this hideous bag is unlike any other I have ever seen...and Ive seen/owned quite a few. A weakness of mine perhaps? Its made by Longchamp. And for the longest amount of time I thought it was made by Dooney and Bourke, I will admit to that. but after doing extensive research brought on by my ifuckinghatethat I learned it wasn't.

This is the purse in question:

FUCKING SICK. If ANY and I mean ANY of you reading this are in ownership of this purse in any of its many varieties...I will personally hunt you down and burn your house down. I honestly DON'T know why I have such a strong hatred towards these purses. The fact that I see it about 100 times a day surely does not help. Its just a very unflattering purse and quite trendy in a non trendy way, kind of like a starfucker groupie kind of trendy aka sick.

As for Steve Madden. I am somewhat of a new fan. I have fallen in love with all of his Steve Madden LUXE shoes. Aka the expensive slutty ones.

I don't understand why ALL the 5+ Stilettos have to be High End Designer. Why cant I find a pair of gorgeous sky high sticks for under 200? Well Steve Madden must think like a faggot in my situation. Because he came out with that Luxe line. Its all about supple leathers, skins, platforms, and stilettos. For under about 250. Me rikey.

...until Steve Madden had the balls to go out and STEAL other designers looks. And I mean STEAL. He straight up STOLE the looks of Christian Louboutin. U.S. Laws do not protect Chritstian Louboutins designs. Which totally sucks.

BUT it doesn't end there! Steve Madden must be on some sort of "Lets steal cute designs" high because hes now branching off on OTHER foreign Designers. One of which being Balenciaga, whom I am a DIRE fan of. And I seriously wanted to kill myself when I saw his take on Balenciagas Lego-esq heels that were designed for one to be able to run in.

So I'm thinking my new found love with Steve Madden will soon be over...as soon as I buy those fucking cute cowboy boots I saw. Here's some photos to get a better understanding:

well shit.

2008-03-19T03:03:00.000-04:00

It seems that all my previous posts have gone missing?

Site defect? Possibly. Deleted in a drug induced fury? Possibly.

Maybe I never wrote anything. Maybe it was all some sort of...hallucination. Doubtful. Yet one can never be too sure.

Ive been quite depressed recently. I'm dealing with a lot of shit. A lot of personal shit as well. And its borderline TOO MUCH. I'm 19. I don't want to have to go through all these things right now. I'm supposed to be running around and acting irresponsible. Isn't that the job title of a 19 year old? Fuck having to deal the consequences of ones actions!

I'm in such a weird state right now...its quite unsettling.